minus 60 days: my not-to-do list

I love lists. I now have lists of places to go, stuff to see, friends to meet and many more. While these lists will be released in good time (patience people!), here is one to keep you busy for now.

Over freshly cut haystack fries with parmesan and rosemary, and (too many) plates of all-day-breakfast at Overeasy, my girlies laid down some ground rules to make sure I behave:

• Don't have too much fun until you don't want to come back.
• Don't flirt excessively.
• Don't go out alone after 11pm.
• Don't come back married, pregnant, or a lesbian.
• Don't turn down a horse shit ball.
• Don't get (too) wasted.
• Don't trust anyone.
• Don't stop talking to God and reading the bible.
• Don't pretend to be busy with your iphone when you are just shy.
• Don't forget to buy presents for your girlies.

Do not be fooled by their smiles. I do not want to imagine what they will do to me should I not obey any of the ten commandments above. Cross those fingers for me, won't you?

Can you think of any other 'not-to-do's?